Grief is weird


 For me, grief has appeared as all of these. Right now, I am experiencing all, but keeping busy. The idea of doing anything is overwhelming at this point. I remember when I lost my papa, I was 16 and I felt all of these, but no one cared and they expected me to keep going. After my miscarriage 3 weeks ago, I physically can't do anything. Blogging takes everything out of me. I watch true crime documentaries and hang out with my kids. Life has become hard, harder than any other experience in my life.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A small break

 I know I just came back to blogging, but family sickness took me away for a few days. It's just a cold, but when 4 kids get sick, it takes up A LOT of my time. We used Vitamin C, elderberry, and all the orange juice. I kept these kids hydrated with water and tea with honey. I think we are on the upswing, but my husband may have caught it from the boys. OOPS! Thankfully, I seem to have been saved from the chaos of sickness. I am really enjoying this cool weather, it is making it easier for me to go outside and not get overheated! Here's to FALL!!!
Read more

Why God by Austin French

If you had asked me after my papa died, did I still believe God is good, I would have emphatically said YES! He saved my papa from a life that would have been painful and difficult. He had lived his life and it was a good one. He had 6 grandchildren who loved him and 2 children who thought the world of him. He was amazing and had a great life. People have made comments since I lost River. Simple comments that many people don't even realize they are making. "At least River didn't feel pain", "Imagine what it is going to feel like when you get to Heaven and you hear that little voice that yells Mama!!!!", "Just think, River closed their eyes and opened them to the face of Jesus", none of these comments make me feel good inside. They hurt. I question God daily, does He really love me, why would He cause River to die, is He really good? My sweet baby didn't even have a chance to live, to enjoy life. I am numb most of the day, then it hits me hard b...
Read more

Jobs

 I know this isn't my normal, pregnancy/loss post, but this is family related. Why is America so crazy? Why do parents have to have multiple jobs and income streams to be able to survive anymore? My husband works one job full time and is looking for another job (or two), because it is not enough anymore. Inflation has ruined our chance of buying healthy food, because it is cheaper to buy a bag of chips, rather than the supplies for a salad. I work my butt off trying to do surveys and games to bring in a couple dollars to help pay for gas, but it's hard to get a real job while homeschooling 4 kids and pregnant. Just think about us in your prayers please. If you have any jobs that I could possibly do with the chaos in my life, send them my way!
Read more